Today is Birthmother's Day.
On the eve of the day we have always known as a time to celebrate moms and all they do for us throughout our lives, we celebrate a day meant to acknowledge, commend, and thank those women who have made the decision to give their children up for adoption.
In our case, that means taking time to think about four different women. The path that each of our kids took to ultimately end up in our house is unique. That being true, they all started the same way, with a mother's decision to give up their child. Whether that decision was made at birth, or years after, the decision was the same. A decision most likely based on a belief that there could be a better life for this child elsewhere.
Each of our kids' stories is just that, their story to share as they see fit. As they grow up we will fill them in on all of the details that we know of.
In Lleyton's case, we have communicated with his mother. We have pictures of her and her family. We have her story, and we know her reasoning for giving him up. I'll be the first to admit that at times, while I watch Lleyton battle some of the issues that he has to deal with, I get upset with his birthmother. When those feeling come about, I quickly remind myself (or more often than not Sara quickly reminds me) to be thankful that Lleyton is with us. The truth of the matter is that we are so grateful to his birthmother for carrying him throughout her pregnancy and ultimately giving birth to him. Sara and I realize that she didn't have to do that, but she did, and because of that we have our little man here with us.
In Addy's case, we had prepared ourselves for the possibility that we may have been able to meet her birthmother during our trip to Ethiopia to bring her home. We were very saddened to learn that she had passed away before that meeting could take place. Oh how we wish we could have met her. Looking at our little girl, I am certain her birthmother was beautiful, and we would have loved to have been able to meet the woman that gave her that personality of hers (she can be a bit of a spitfire).
We recently made an effort to find out a bit more about Parker's story and his path to where he is now. Not surprisingly, we weren't able to find out very much. We wish we could reach his birthmother. We would love for her to see the young man her son has become.
While he isn't technically a part of our family yet, we don't see it that way when we think of our little guy in South Korea. So on this day we also think about the young lady half a world away that relinquished her rights to the baby boy that will one day become our fourth child. She, just like the birthmother of each of our other kids, made the very difficult decision to give him up, and we feel very fortunate to be the people that will be welcoming him into our family.
So as I sit here tonight and think about each of these women, I wish I could personally tell each one of them how much their decisions have meant to us .
From Sara and I to each of them, thank you so much! The children that you gave birth to are in good hands and we look forward to sharing their stories with them as they grow older.